Publishing My Insides

Seated at the kitchen table

Scuffed

Fingers rush

Keys reply loudly

To cold hard wrists

Writing of who I am

And I am not

Half solar return of dying and becoming

A monologue in the making

Static

For my world to see

Questioning, guessing, trying

Restarting, refreshing, avoiding

Argh!

Forcing, persuading, storytelling

Talking to myself of myself

For wealth and love

I hope and pray to convince onlookers

Look!

Witness worthiness!

I AM larger than life

Do not use a glass

Cracks need not surface

Pssst

Imposter!

be quiet

Doubt!

breath

Lost!

breath

FEAR

OK eating instead

Finish fixating on forks and fingernails

Find the next right word

Drag cut drop

Photos not good

Good enough

Trudge

Don’t make a deadline wait

You need her and need this

How do I look?

Braced for slight pain

Replies kind, unhelpful

Until angels criticize quietly

What gift!

A new direction

Signs guide my Creation

Small Infinite steps

Forward

Trust and faith

Fuel determination

which I forget to taste

It’s time

Almost done

Hit publish

Sigh

as shoulders release from earlobes

The trees go wild!

Fish jump with pride

Relief and worry

Crossed with fingers and hope

Spirit satisfied

whispers

Ya done good girl

Savour the moment

A taste of what is to come

More perfectly sweet vanilla cream pie

Uneety | October 16, 2020

#poetry #creativity #emerging #fear #courage #transparency #humanexperience #publishing #website #coping